Saturday, May 17, 2008

back pain and complaining

5.18.08 8:30


Awww my back! I am laying on this foldout couch right now in a lot of pain. Its Sunday morning I just threw my back out and now I have the whole day ahead of me to try to recover. I dunno, my host dad thinks its because I was running outside and then took off my shirt (because it was fairly hot out) and the change in air temperature on my back caused my back to lock up. I dunno it could be the case. I ran about 5 laps then stripped the shirt. By the time I got to 10 and started to sprint the straight away instant lock down and here I am whining about it.

This week ugg was a set back. Just as I was coming off of a week of trying to get things figured out with my work and had begun going to local villages peace corps called me Monday afternoon and said we have a driver in the area in 10 minutes get your stuff and meet him at this location. I was in the middle of hide in seek with the kids (very busy) but I complied. I figured it was just gonna be a one shot deal and I would be back the next day. I took nothing with me but a book and a change of underwear. So I get to chisnau and they are closed for the day so I have to stay the night. I get my diagnoses Tuesday that I would be there till Thursday getting some rabies booster shots. Ugg… So I spent the week in Chisinau hangning out with other people who are sick leave. It was not a horrible time but I felt worthless.

The worst part about the stay was the negativity. There was some older volunteers there I was able to talk to about where I was and my concerns on the rest of my service being productive and what not. They all had some very discouargeing things to say for the most part. When I talked with other members in my group there they were in the same boat as I was with partners who really had nothing for them to do and they were just kinda killing time at their site waiting for something to come up. The older volunteers were voicing there frustrations that even after being here all this time people here they have met don’t really want them to be there unless they can write them grants or the volunteer does the work for them (either by writing the whole grant, writing the whole project and carrying it all out themselves). And guess what after the volunteer gives up on the job as a facilitator they are more happy, feel more productive and their counterparts seem to be happy they received money for a grant or credit for something they didn’t do. I know I am being extremely negative here, and I know this can’t be true for everybody but it was just depressing to listen to.

The problem with this is that once this active volunteer who took the time to write a grant or a project or created some program leaves so does any hope of sustainability. Unless the partner or host country national gets involved and learns and cares about the project the idea, the passion runs out. This idea of sustainability is the hardest thing to work for but it is also the best possible solution to any problem out here. My experiences this week were discouraging. I fell into that category of volunteer I realized that was about to just do the work, or write the grant just to feel productive. On this bench project for instance I made the volunteers write the project but they only wrote 75% of it. That was 2 weeks ago. And to get them to finish the rest was becoming impossible. So I wrote it, I wrote it badly given my language ability but I did th work, I organized everything and felt like finally this is done! Then I got some of them to meet up with me finally and had them correct or rewrite what I wrote. You know what… I failed! I went from facilitator to doer. I did this because the school year is over soon. And part of the plan is to raise money from the schools and we have to get this plan done before we can raise the money. And with 2 weeks left to go we had to get our stuff together. Without this we miss out on a huge fundraising opportunity.. at least I hope it is a huge one because we need it.

At work I am near the point of trying to write a grant for the only partner that works for me to get him his fish pond near this lake so he can raise fish. Its not right, I don’t’ feel right about it but I think I could win a grant for it and he would be happy and so would the organization and so would peace corps because they could say I did something. But its crap! It goes all back to the idea of success here. There idea of success is that I bring money here for them, my idea is not the bring money for them but to help them raise the money for themselves and feel as if they did it. “if the coach does the push ups the athlete will not get stronger.”

Awww!!!!!! I just got up to take some ibuprofen for my back and nearly fell down in pain. I guess I really jacked myself up here. Oh geez…This is just what I need. Anyway… I made some connections yesterday meeting people responsible for the park and then someone who works closely with the mayor. All this could help me in the long run but also with this current project if I can get them involved in helping out a little. The plan now is to raise as much money as possible for the benches from the school, then mayors office and then local businesses. And I am also the only one pushing the possibility of this being a success. I am feeling a lot of negativity as if I am carrying this project on my shoulders. I feel this is something they want because they all said this is the project they wanted and people I have asked all support it I just don’t understand this can’t do it attitude. I feel as it is a challenge and I have to prove to these kids if they do some work they can get results here. It’s the work im having a hard time getting them to do.

I feel pretty helpless here, my back is shot and this bench project is in limbo. Hmm nothing really funny happened to me this week I guess… there was this drunk old man on the street that shook my hand then tried to do some karate move on me showing how if somebody gives him their hand he can break it. It was comical and this old woman of his slapped him telling him to stop. I am currently reading a book called “Lies my teacher told me, everything your American history book got wrong. “ so far very interesting, it has some interesting points thus far about how horrible Columbus really was and how the history books exaerate his feat and glorifiy his successes and down play his failures and the otracities he infact carried out. There was also a blurb about Hellen Keller and how she was an outspoken socialist supporter and all this other stuff about here. Its funny when you think about all this stuff you took as fact when really they were quite fiction or sugar coated. .. Ok this is a crummy entry but I had to get it out and down on paper here. Love you all family.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

down and dirty

4-9-08 8:57
“Hello my friend” a frequent greeting I get from children who know about 6 words in English. I am about to go on adventure to talk about my last two weeks here and all of the crazy crap that has happened. Of course I procrastinated and I forgot most of what has happened in the past so hopefully this will be quick and to the point. Also please excuse any misplellings or grammar errors that might appear with more frequency given the fact that I was just savagely attacked by a huge Rottweiler and luckily escaped with just a few gauges in my leg. So in my rabid delirious state I will recount the events that has led up to this day.

Let us start with last week. I am not sure if I talked about Easter, we woke up at 6am ate and drank, then repeated that for the rest of the day. The following day was a holiday too and we didn’t have work. I read, watched movies and tried to stay sane as it rained outside. Tuesday I was able to go to work and sit and do nothing as only one other person showed up. I killed time the rest of the day like I did the previous day. Wednesday on my way to work I decided to change plans…

I decided to walk about 45 minutes down the road to a good hitching point to visit a fellow colleague in the town about 45 minutes south of me. I hitched a ride and mumbled where I wanted to go… I had never been there so I was a bit concerned I would not know how to get there but I did my best to explain where I wanted to be dropped off. Long story short, they though I was Russian and refused to speak to me in Russian saying kids these days don’t know how to speak Romanian. That was fine as I listened to them in Romanian talking about me. I just smiled and enjoyed the ride. Halfway through the ride they asked me again where I wanted to get off I told them and then they asked me if I was really from Russia. I said no America! They both said wow im sorry! HOW ARE YOUR DOING! SHAKE MY HAND! Anyway I figured it out arrived at my destination and spent the day with Darren in his town to see what he was up to.

Had a good time and made my way back home that night. The next day I went to work then because last week the center for children was closed for the holidays I decided to go visit Darren again and meet up with Phil who came up. We stayed the night, had a good time then the next day traveled south once again to meet up with a group of people in Orhei. We were celebrating the departure of two volunteers soon to be leaving. Then the following day I went to Chisinau to continue to see people and went to concert to watch our security officer for the peace corps jam on his harmonica with his band singing American cover songs. Great time. Sunday on my way back home I went to Peresecina to visit the old family. They wanted me to stay the night but I needed to get home.

So I got home, talked with the family and went to bed. So this last Monday was the day where everybody goes to the cemetery and visits deceased relatives and friends. They all spend about half a day drinking wine putting food and candles on grave sites and then we all sit and eat there. It was an interesting experience. On a side not it was a little strange at one point. There was a priest that would walk around reading what I assume was latin and blessing the graves. If you wanted this to happen to your loved ones grave you were required to follow the preist around begging him to come and bless your grave and slip him some money. It was quite unnerving. At one point this man started screaming at the priest because (in Russian this all was) he could not afford to pay the priest to bless his relatives grave and so the priest by passed him for someone who could. He hit the priest and pulled on his clothes then walked away raving and ranting for some time after. Quite an exciting time.

Tuesday I went back to work.. didn’t do anything, wait I wrote a letter I think yes, I wrote a letter in English outlining what I want out my experience here. I will then translate this into Romanian and give it to my partners outlining what I want to do. The gist of it is that I will be in the office only 2 days a week for about 4 hours then the other days will be spent going to nearby villages and hanging out with the local consultants where I can actually learn.

Wednesday I went into the office not really expecting to do anything other then begin translating my letter when my Russian partner asked me if I wanted to get out of the office. I said you bet ya! So we went to the bank, then a village where he paid to have access to a pond of sorts. Then we went out to see his land where he is going to put his own pond. From there we left and stopped off by this road and watched the process of draining a fishing pond. It was interesting I never knew how they did it. All the water drains out this tunnel where it catches all the fish that grew that year and they take their nets and scoop them up and put them in a truck.

Thursday I went to another village to visit with a local consultant to see if I could come there once a week so I can get out of the office. It was a good time. I was able to speak Romanian for about 2 hours with the consultants niece while she was given advice. This is by far our best consultant in the entire rayon. She works as a part time consultant and then part time in the local village bank where she helps people apply for credit and payback strategies. So when you combine agriculture knowledge with advice and resources on how to accomplish a agriculture idea you have a successful office. I will be spending at least one day a week I hope in her office and then ask her to set me up with some local farmers so I can just follow them around the rest of the day. Or maybe a half and half thing.

The rest of that day I spent at the center with the kids. I purchased some tiny toy soldiers (though farina was very against any aspect of war to be taught to the children) and got the tyrants building forts in this random sand rock pile we have nearby. It was a great time. It reminded me of the times I used to build sand castles with my dad and sisters in the sand box where I learned the art of crewing. After I got home from that I worked in the garden with my host dad digging very orderly rows of holes for potatoes. Of course the whole time the host mom was right there telling us how to do everything like any woman (wife) would. Anywho we got that accomplished. I enjoy helping around the house, especially learning how to do stuff I had no idea before how to do. To be completely honest I had no idea that you take small immature potatoes put them in the ground and wait for them to grow. I had no idea if you gave potatoes enough time that little seedlings sprout from them. Now I know… ;-).

Friday morning I was running around the track when these two domestic dogs ( I say domestic because their owner comes with them to the track lets them loose and has some what control over them.) So I normally do 10 circles at a even pace then after that I do four laps where I sprint full speed the straight-aways anyway I ran by the dogs at full speed and when I stopped sprinting at the end of the straight away one of the dogs closed on me. It was a rotwhiller and got me on the inside of the thigh then proceeded to tear at my sweats near my calf. Then he got the material stuck in his teeth and proceeded to rip my pants even more. I am posed to hit this animal in the face as hard as I can but I wait watching the 65 year old owner proceed to run that same distance while I dodge the dogs teeth in my calf. The owner ends up falling down on the asphalt rock turf of the track skinning up his hand before he takes control of his animal.

The then claimed it was my fault because his animal had never done this before. But whatever. He apologized and told me he would not let that dog loose in the mornings near the track anymore. So I was very happy. I finished running for a bit until the adrenaline wore down and my leg began throbbing. When I got home I inspected the wounds and they aren’t too bad. There is defiantly some teeth marks where he gauged me it could have been a lot worse. Had the inside thigh bite been about 5 inches higher I might not have my manhood anymore ;-).

Friday was also victory day for Europe. So we had a big celebration in our town. Everybody met up in the center with flowers and walked them down to this monument for WW2 for all the soldiers who had died. The mayor said some words, as well did some other local leaders. I limped along and snapped some pictures. The weekend is the weekend. I spent it in Orhei a village 2 hours south of mine and have escaped the boredom of being in my house when its raining outside. I am looking forward to talking with my parents tonight…. That’s really all I have.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM!


Also here is a link to an article about human trafficking in moldova. Interesting and sad.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/05/080505fa_fact_finnegan?currentPage=1